For my Father

When I sat down this morning to write, it was going to be an academic treatise on Cults and festivals of the Dead and how they relate to or can be adapted to working with the Lady Hekate, and perhaps I will write it still, although maybe not today. All things considered, today seems like a good day to muse upon those that have gone before.

I am not a Wiccan, nor have I ever been, and although my other great love is the stories and tales of the land we now know of as Wales, neither is my path specifically a Celtic one (although I actually hate using the word Celtic, because it doesn’t really mean much); that being said, this time of year has always held a special signifcance for me, it has always felt different and never more so than in the last decade since my father, my first mentor, passed on around this time.

He taught me many things (although at the time I am not sure I appreciated quite what he was teaching me), not just to walk and talk or to ride my first bike, he taught me the names of the flowers and the trees, to eat hawthorm leaves and call them bread and cheese, to gauge just right how many slightly under-ripe cob nuts I could eat without getting the colly wobbles, how to make cider, to garden, and even to knit, crochet and sew, he told me stories and tales some awe inspiring, some frightening, some just down right ridiculous, we used to laugh and call him our font of useless information, a talent I can now proudly say I have inherited.

He called himself a heathen, although he wasn’t one in the way most people use the word now, he didn’t know about fancy groups and troths, although he had a deep one with the land, he knew of course of the Aesir and Vanir for his knowledge of old stories was phenominal, but they weren’t his gods, to use his words, he worshipped only at the altar of the compost heap.

He was an honorable man, a quiet man, a gentle man, loved by everybody who knew him; he talked many times of his funeral in the years before his passing, he said he always wanted a Viking funeral, or failing that to be buried “face down and bum uppards holding a bottle of whiskey”. Of course such schemes were to never come to pass, although plans are in place, his ashes safely stowed for a future time, when he and my mother will be sailed out on a flaming balsa wood boat across lake windermere, one of his most favourite places in the world.

And as the sun goes down tonight, I shall light a candle and pour him a glass and think of all the gifts he gave to me and I never thanked him for.

2 thoughts on “For my Father

  1. Sophie Nussle

    What a beautiful and moving post. I’ve only just discovered your blog, thanks to a friend – but I shall be returning! I lost my own dear grandmother 20 years ago tomorrow, she was such an important influence on me in my childhood and adolescence. A woman of great heart, free before her time, who flowed with love and laughter and lived life by her own measure. Like your father, a magical being in her essence, though she laughed at all religion and rituals and believed in no gods. She baked better than anyone I know, told many stories and sang to us…When she died, I was orphaned as surely as if she’d been mother or father (she spent a lot of time with us). She visits me in dreams sometimes…Inspired by you, I’ll light a candle, pour a glass of wine, and laugh at my fears, as she did.

  2. Nevyn Post author

    Thank you for reading and sharing Sophie, it is lovely to have you here. I think we can learn a lot from people and have many mentors in our lives, although at the time we may not realise that is what and who they are, but I do think we should show them our thanks when we do.

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